How to Support a Loved One Who’s Struggling With Their Mental Health
Watching someone you care about struggle with their mental health can feel heartbreaking and confusing. You may want to help but feel unsure what to say, how to show up, or where your role begins and ends. It’s common to worry about saying the wrong thing—or to feel helpless when your support doesn’t immediately “fix” what they’re going through.
Supporting a loved one doesn’t require having the right answers. Often, what helps most is presence, consistency, and compassion.
This guide offers gentle ways to support someone who’s struggling while also taking care of yourself.
Start With Listening, Not Fixing
When someone opens up about their mental health, it’s natural to want to solve the problem or make the pain go away. But most people aren’t looking for solutions in those moments—they’re looking to feel understood.
Helpful responses might sound like:
“I’m really glad you told me.”
“That sounds incredibly hard.”
“I’m here with you.”
Try to listen without interrupting, minimizing, or jumping in with advice. Feeling heard can be incredibly regulating and validating.
Validate Their Experience
Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything someone says—it means acknowledging that their feelings are real and meaningful.
Instead of:
“It could be worse.”
“Just try to stay positive.”
“You’ll be fine.”
Try:
“It makes sense that you feel this way.”
“Anyone in your situation would be struggling.”
“I can see how much this is affecting you.”
Validation helps reduce shame and makes it safer for someone to continue sharing.
Ask What Support Looks Like for Them
Everyone needs support differently. Rather than assuming what would help, ask gently.
You might say:
“What would feel most supportive right now?”
“Do you want advice, or would you rather I just listen?”
“How can I show up for you?”
This respects their autonomy and helps avoid miscommunication.
Encourage Professional Support Without Pressure
If your loved one is struggling significantly, therapy or professional support may be helpful. Encouragement can be supportive—but pressure often isn’t.
You might say:
“Have you thought about talking to someone professionally?”
“I’d be happy to help you look for options if that feels overwhelming.”
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
If they’re not ready, that’s okay. Let them know support is available whenever they are.
Be Consistent, Even in Small Ways
Consistency builds trust. Small, steady gestures often matter more than grand ones.
This could include:
Checking in regularly
Sending a thoughtful text
Spending quiet time together
Remembering important dates
Following through on what you offer
Even brief moments of connection can help someone feel less alone.
Set Boundaries to Protect Your Own Wellbeing
Supporting someone doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself. It’s important to recognize your own limits.
Healthy boundaries might look like:
Taking breaks when you feel overwhelmed
Being honest about what you can and can’t offer
Encouraging other sources of support
Seeking support for yourself
Caring for yourself helps you show up more sustainably.
Watch for Signs of Crisis
If your loved one expresses thoughts of self-harm, hopelessness, or feeling unsafe, it’s important to take those signals seriously.
If you’re concerned about immediate safety:
Encourage them to seek urgent help
Contact local crisis services
Call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in the U.S.
Stay with them if possible until help is available
Reaching out for emergency support is an act of care, not betrayal.
Remember: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Supporting someone through mental health struggles can be emotionally taxing. You deserve support too.
Talking with a therapist, trusted friend, or support group can help you process your own feelings and prevent burnout.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need perfect words or solutions to support someone you love. Showing up with compassion, patience, and honesty can make a meaningful difference.
If your loved one—or you—could benefit from professional support, the clinicians at Candor Therapy Network are here to help guide the next steps with care and understanding.
